The 3 Things You're Allowed to Say to a Pregnant Lady
Anyway, like the idiot I am, I read the comments on the story, and I found one that bothered me a lot:
"...I have admittedly never understood why pregnant women are uber-sensitive about their perceived hugeness. I haven't experienced it so it makes no sense to me, but from my perspective there is little in this world that is more beautiful than a pregnant woman--swollen ankles and all. In my own struggles, there has been nothing more painful than an empty womb and knowing that I can never give life and will never be a mommy."
AND....now I'm going to be insensitive. I don't like to be insensitive, but this is MY blog and I'm saying what I feel. If you don't like it, don't read it.
First of all, this comment is borderline threadjacking. It's not entirely relevant to the subject and just screams for a story of its own. Common internet courtesy prohibits (or, at least, strongly discourages) threadjacking. Threadjacking bothers me.
Second of all, it is a BIG pet peeve of mine when people turn every conversation into one about them and their trials. Guess what? EVERYONE has trials. EVERYONE thinks their trials are harder or more important than anyone else's. NO ONE wants to hear about how you think you're worse off than everyone else.
Third of all, it makes me feel guilty for something that is completely out of my control, and that's unfair. I don't know why God decided I could have children and you could not. All I know is my own situation and how it makes me feel. Just because you're upset about your own situation does not make my feelings or emotions any less valid because you'd give an arm or a leg to be in my position.
I have been SO fortunate to have easy, problem-free pregnancies, labors, and deliveries. I've borne two healthy boys, and I am carrying my third with every expectation of a positive outcome. You don't need to tell me how lucky I am. It is something I thank God for every day of my life. It is NOT something that I ever take for granted.
My heart aches for all of the women who struggle to have their own children or who are never able to have children on their own. I will NEVER understand exactly how you feel, but I can imagine how I would feel in the same situation. If I could choose, no woman would ever suffer from infertility. No parent would ever have to outlive his/her child. I pray often for the women around me, especially my friends, who have experienced these trials because they are not something I would wish for anyone to have. I hope my comments haven't offended any of them, because they are women whom I admire and respect for their positive outlook on life and quiet strength in times of suffering.
I promise never to be purposely insensitive again if everyone else promises to do the same. Everyone in the world could do with a little more understanding for those around us, no matter our individual situations.
"Jesus said love everyone;
Treat them kindly, too.
When your heart is filled with love,
Others will love you."