Jessica, Kyle, Lucas and myself are currently very happy and are in a very good spot on our journey through this life. I in no way take them for granted and I will forever be with them. I feel the love of my wife and kids every day. I do not speak for my wife, but I would say that she is very proud of me and the choices we have made together.
As I sat through conference this weekend, I thought long and hard about my life and my family. In Priesthood session President Monson was talking to the young single adult males and said something like this: young single adult men should not put off getting married for the fear of certain troubles. He did mention disagreements, in-laws, and most important finances. He said that finances should not be a reason not to get married, but is in most cases how you grow closer to each other. This is exactly what has brought Jessica and me together through these last five years. Yes, we have had many trials that most people could say they haven't had to go through, but financially we have always struggled. But, this I say has brought us closer together as a couple almost more than anything else. We always have what we need and hardly ever what we want. My needs are my wife and two beautiful children.
*****DISCLAIMER: I in no way am saying that we have it harder than anyone else, there are people we know that have gone through 10 times more, this is just our experience. *****
This brings me to my next point. I am happily employed for Adobe who is outsourced by Teleperformance. I love my job and have no plans in the next 2-3 years to leave this job! I work for Teleperformance as a hourly paid agent, and am employed by Adobe with my commissions. I am happy with my compensations even if they are not socially accepted as responsible for a family of four. I have been told multiple times that I am not in a job where I can support my family, that Jessica should work too, and that I should seek something better. To this I say, this is none of anyone's business except Jessica, myself and the Lord. We have not made any decision lightly and always seek confirmation from the Lord through prayer. This is very personal and should not be debated in extended families; it is with everyone their own between husband and wife. In completing this thought I want everyone that has ever doubted me in my choices or who looks at me and says, "I wish he was doing this differently," that I am doing just fine, I have never let my family go without, never disappointed them, never done anything that has not been for their benefit.
I am now working 6-2:30 Monday through Friday and enjoy coming home and having more time with my family. The main reason for my early schedule is to facilitate me going back to school starting May 16th, 2011, and continuing until I have a degree in Sales and Marketing. To this I always get the "Are you sure you can go to school full time and still support your family?" or "That looks pretty hard to take 8 credit hours and work full time. I think that is too much for you." School has never been my strong suit, and I have given it up on more than one occasion after being inspired to focus on a career and supporting my family. Now is the first time that I have ever felt that I could do both and received a confirmation that it is right. Also, I will be attending Salt Lake Community College, and am not ashamed to be going there. Where you go to school does not matter; you do it for you the way you want to do it. I have chosen to get school done through SLCC and any further schooling the the University of Utah (although I am a BYU fan). That is what I have chosen to do for my education and that is my business and mine only; no one especially family members should question why, when, where or how.
The last point will be brief and just say how I feel. I am sure there will be blogs to come on this subject. My wife is a stay at home mom! Jessica has been staying at home with the kids for more than a year now, and we decided this together through much prayer and consideration of all of our options. We in no way should be criticized for this choice based on how much I make and how we are financially. Just because we don't make a certain amount doesn't mean the wife should go back to work. When Jessica and I were both working and with only one kid without a house we had more trouble financially than we do now that our income has been cut in half and we have a house payment to make. Yes, we make less and have less issues financially and in our marriage. We have learned to budget, and are in a better position now. I strongly do not feel that every mother should stay home as our situation does not work for everyone. So in no way am I saying that all women should stay in the home. I want to make that clear as I have very many wonderful family members who work outside the home for various reasons and are wonderful women. As for us, Jessica staying home has been the best thing for us and for our kids, and we should not be criticized for doing so.
To wrap up I just want everyone to know that if we lived in another state away from all family we would be just fine, just as we are right now. I do not want people to continue to underestimate us in our lives, we are strong in our faith and stronger in our love for each other. That is all that matters. Maybe people should focus on loving each other for who they are rather than judging them for what they are doing.