11.04.2009

For All You Ladies Out There...

I want to hear your opinions on this, because it's something I've heard a lot about lately...
When is a good time to announce a pregnancy?


For those of you who have been pregnant, at what point in your pregnancies did you start to share the good news? How did you decide whom to tell? What were your motivations for going public at that particular time?
For those of you planning on being pregnant in the future, at what point in your (future) pregnancy do you anticipate you'll make the big announcement?
I know the answers will differ with each woman, but I'm interested to see if there will be a consensus.

17 comments:

Parkers said...

With #1 we just started announcing right away. I couldn't wait. Granted, I didn't share in the relief society "good news minute", but if there was a good time for it to come up when I was talking with somebody, I didn't hesitate to mention it.

With #2, with the exception of my best friend out here and the lady I used to work for (she needed to know why I was so lazy every morning), we waited until the second trimester. It was easier to keep it a secret because we were so far away from family.

The Bradys said...

With Hailey it was so hard to keep it a secret, we told our parents the day we found out. And tried to wait to tell friends and family until week 10 or so. But it usually slipped out before then. I'm easy to read as well, so a lot of friends guessed it before we announced.

With Adam we waited to tell parents until about 10 weeks and friends until week 13/14. It was fun to just keep it between Matt and I for a while. I also felt like my pregnancy with Hailey felt SO long because others new for SO long.

I know a lot of people who announce it when they're "trying" or right when they find out. Sometime I'd like to wait until the 20 week ultrasound to tell everyone, I think it would be fun to announce it and already be able to tell them whether it's a boy or girl. Ha, of course I'd be pretty huge by that point:).

Brad and Hailey said...

With Angela the fact that I got pregnant was such a medical miracle that we waited until it was confirmed through a blood test to announce it to our families.

I had planned on waiting a while to tell the world but my sister in her excitement mentioned it on facebook so we got to tell the world a little early (like when I was 6 weeks along).

For my next one I am planning on waiting until closer to 20 weeks to tell the world, and basically as long as I can to tell my family.

I think its totally up to you and that society seems it to be 20 weeks but I think you should be able to share it when you want, knowing that if you do have a misscarriage it will be painful ... but I have known people who announce super early and are fine and those who have had super late misscarriages. So it's totally up to you and how you feel in my opinion :)

Brenda Sue said...

Jessica.... Are you saying that you're pregnant and want to know when to start telling people?? With me, I was about 12 weeks along when I told people.. Only because I had no choice but to tell people.. It's really up to you

Jessica said...

Amy: I guess that's one benefit of living so far away from family. It probably made for a better surprise for them!

Deborah: I'm with you: the earlier you announce your pregnancy, the longer it feels.

Hailey: I wish I could wait until 20 weeks to announce my pregnancies! I already had quite a belly at 20 weeks with Kyle, which tends to be a bit of a giveaway. :) Of course, you're tall, so you probably could hide a pregnancy better than I could.

Brenda: This post should not be considered an announcement. I'm merely curious to see when other people announced their pregnancies. With Kyle, we told the parents at about 8 weeks and everyone else (who didn't already guess, because Cole and I are TERRIBLE liars) around 11 or 12 weeks.

Danielle and the Boys said...

interesting question and one i always wonder about with everyone else too. we just happened to tell our parents at holidays because there was always a holiday right around when i was like 10 weeks pregnant-which we figured was an appopriate time. easter and christmas to be exact. but heck, now that i've got a nice gut, i could probably hold out on them even longer bc they wouldn't have the courage to ask if i was just chunky or pregnant. lol.

Melinda said...

We've always felt like it was smart to wait until 10-12 weeks. At that point your chance of miscarriage has gone way down. I never wanted to deal with having to share that news. With my babies I usually announced after my first checkup with the doctor. By then I start to poke out and it gets hard to hide anyway. Plus, I have to agree that when you know someone is pregnant right after conception, it seems like they are pregnant forever.
Another thing, when you already have kids, you have to keep in mind that they don't really understand time and having to wait 9 months doesn't make any sense to them. We always told our kids before anyone else and we waited as long as possible to do that. Plus, kids aren't so great at secrets. Once they know it's likely the whole world will.

Devri said...

I realized that I'm kind of a private person. I don't feel terribly comfortable informing the world about what is going on with me and my body. We told our parents right away, which turned out to be a very good thing. We had a honeymoon baby, and we were a little shocked about the quickness of it and dreaded everyone's comments and snickers. Both sets of parents were very reassuring and supportive, and they provided the excitement to the pregnancy that we initially lacked. We told the rest of the immediate family around 9 or 10 weeks, and then slowly started telling our closest friends. Eventually it leaked the rest of the way out, but I never really made a public announcement until I was showing quite obviously.

Bubba said...

I don't know what Chris and I will do? I've always wanted to do something creative and crafty....I have a few ideas, but we will see!

I don't think there is ever a wrong time to tell someone you are pregnant, pregnancy is such a happy time!

Love, Britt

Ruth said...

I'm not sure what I'll actually do, but I dont think I'd want to make any sort of public announcement until 12 weeks or so. We'll probably tell Jeff's parents pretty soon after we find out and my mom shortly after that (depending on the timing...).

It'll be hard to keep it from those who are near me constantly (because I'm a terrible liar and people are ALWAYS asking if I'm pregnant).

However, I won't know for sure until it happens to me. :) It may be interesting to compare what I think to what actually happens.

Natalie said...

Dunno. B4 I started blogging, I had thought we'd wait til at least after the 12th week to tell anybody, including my parents. But now that I blog and I'm spilling the beans on my once private, but now not-so-private fertility, I think I'll announce it right away.

The Lowe's said...

With Bradley we kept it pretty quiet for about 2 months but only because I was working at a brand new job and didn't want to risk it.

This time though, there was no way to keep it past about 5 or 6 weeks because the only way of communication is facebook and blogging and I have to get my woes out there! Fatigue, morning sickness.. you know the usual. Despite our best efforts, that's as long as we kept it in.

I will say though, that although it may seem to make the pregnancy last longer by announcing it earlier, it's not the same when you already have a baby to keep you busy. You don't realize you're pregnant most of the time.

Katie said...

I'm glad you brought up this question... so interesting...

With Joshua I didn't even tell Jacob I was pregnant for about 3 days; because we got pregnant after only 2 weeks of trying, I wanted to be absolutely sure it was for real. I went to the doctor and had a blood test done! lol! Afterward I felt really silly for waiting to tell my own husband, but oh well. I wanted to wait for a while to tell friends and family. It ended up being around 11weeks-- just before my first appointment-- when my family came into town. It was perfect timing.

Then I got pregnant last November, and since we were spending Thanksgiving with my family, we decided to announce it then even though I was barely pregnant. I also told a few of my best friends and a lot of co-workers (because there was a patient on the unit who had been injected with a radioactive isotope and I had no choice but to tell everyone so I could make sure to be safe at work). Then two weeks later I miscarried. The miscarriage itself was traumatic enough, and having to "un-tell" people just made it even harder. But of course, you can't possibly know in advance if you will miscarry or not, especially after your only previous experience with pregnancy resulted in a full-term infant.

So... I've experienced it both ways. Next time, and however many other times after that, I will likely wait until I am solidly in the second trimester and have had at least one appointment or even an ultrasound.

Hope that helps! :)

Natalie Sadler said...

Next time, we decided to let people figure out on their own whether I was fat or pregnant :) We were going to see who asked first and they'd win a special prize! We'll act like nothing's different and carry on as usual as if we weren't. Because by then, it's sure to be a viable pregnancy.

Seriously. SO FUNNY. I wonder who would win?

Jessica said...

Danielle: Don't worry, I still have my gut from Kyle two years ago! At least you have a newer baby to blame. :)

Melinda: I've never thought about how kids factor in (maybe because I only have one!). That's a good point.

Devri: For the record, I NEVER snickered about you guys having a "honeymoon" baby. I just thought it was really sweet, and really appropriate--I knew that you would make a wonderful mom, and so it just made sense that you would get the opportunity quickly.

Brittany: I always want to come up with some cute idea for announcing, but it turns out I'm terribly not-creative. Maybe you guys can be the cute announcers in the family. :)

Ruth: My little brother CONSTANTLY asks me if I'm pregnant--that's how he found out about Kyle so early because neither one of us could tell a decent lie when he asked.

Natalie K: It's funny--now that I've started thinking about this subject, I feel like it would be easier to announce it via blogging than it would be in person. Maybe I feel a certain sense of anonymity online, even if the people who read my blog are my real-life friends and family...

Crystal: I agree, it is compelling to make an announcement like this early. Did you have any apprehensions with announcing early (like the possibility of complications/miscarriage)? If so, how did you overcome them?

Katie: I'm glad you shared your experience. It adds a lot of perspective. And, even though I'm sure you've had time to come to terms with what happened, I'm sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine how hard it must have been.

Natalie S: That IS a funny idea! I don't think I'd be able to keep the secret that long, though--I'm terrible at keeping my own secrets. I'd be interested to see how that goes for you (whenever that may be).

Bubba said...

Daniel keeps asking me too if Im pregnant! Everytime I see him!!!! So when I am it will be out in a second, cause I do this thing where I smile and laugh and say, "NO!" lol its a CLEAR indication! BUT at the same time I smile and laugh...in every situation!

Love Auntie Brittany

The Lowe's said...

Sorry this response comes so late! I was nervous announcing early to facebook and the rest of the online community. On the other hand I can't imagine a better support system and I know that if I went through something traumatic it would be harder to not have that support from everyone. You never know when people will say something that could be insensitive if they didn't know what has happened. I would want people to know if I miscarried so I wouldn't have to explain why I was so down all the time suddenly. All it would take is one update with a click of the keyboard and that's it. I felt comforted with that. (plus I am very careful with the friends I allow online)

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