Homeless, Homeless...

We are officially without a home (temporarily). We've spent the majority of our time the last couple of weeks in Sandy at my parents' house because it's so much easier for us, transportation-wise. So, we decided to move out of our apartment ASAP and stay with my parents for a couple of weeks while we look for a new place in Salt Lake county. There are several benefits to this:
1. Cole can jump on TRAX to get to work every day, and I can drive to Provo (which saves us gas and money for parking downtown)
2. Free childcare (Kyle gets lots of Grandma time)
3. No rent for a couple of weeks (always nice to save some money)

Make no mistake, we don't intend to freeload for more than three weeks, a month tops. I'm dying to get into our own place. I never realized how much crap we've accumulated in the almost 2 years that we've been married, too. We rented a storage unit to store the majority of our belongings, and it is CRAMMED full. It took Cole almost half an hour and a fair amount of rearranging to even get the door closed! So, now the apartment hunt begins. It's especially hard since I work from 8 to 5 and Cole works from 2:30 to 11, so the only time we have together is spent sleeping and not apartment hunting. But, we'll work it out somehow.

In other news, I feel a little bit better about myself today. I've been especially self-conscious lately because I gained a lot of weight in the first six months after Cole and I got married. Then, I got pregnant, and even though I lost all the baby weight in the first 6 weeks after Kyle was born, my body just wasn't the same. In some ways, that's very good--for example, I went up a cup size (sorry for the TMI, if you are of the sensitive variety), but for the most part, it's frustrating. My pre-pregnancy clothes (pants in particular) just don't fit the same anymore, and I HATE shopping for myself. I feel selfish and vain, and shopping trips typically are futile anyway because I rarely find anything that fits me well enough for me to actually spend money. That all changed today.

Perhaps I was in a better mood since I wasn't really spending my own money--it was birthday money from my grandmother. Whatever the reason, I managed to find myself 6 pairs of pants that I love and feel very confident in. There's this fabulous little place called Steve & Barry's in Murray that my brother introduced us to (he got hooked during his mission in New York). They have all kinds of styles of clothing, and today they happened to have a sale where all items in the store were $8.98 or less. Yes, you read that right. Pants, blouses, shoes, you name it--all less than $9.00. Well, at a price like that, I couldn't help but look around. It ended up being a win-win situation: I found things that I feel good in, AND I didn't spend an arm and a leg buying them! It turned into a wonderful self-esteem booster.

On the other hand, maybe someday my self-esteem level will exist independently of my appearance...as far as I can see, though, it won't be anytime soon.


JayDNatalie said...

:( You make me sad :'( <--- Those are tears . . .

If you keep walking every day with Kyle in his stroller (alhtough you're so busy, I don't know how people make time when they're so busy!) I would think that should help. You can do it--believe in yourself! I know that's hard to do when you feel kinda crappy about yourself. I've been feeling crappy about myself since I was in high school :(

I lost 15-20 pounds after I got back from BYU. I was working 60 hours a week and was self-conscious about eating a lot around friends so I didn't eat a lot--I stressed it way too much to the point where it wasn't at all healthy for me, and I was never happy. I normally wasn't home when my family ate meals and I was stressed out about my body all the time. Sometimes, I'd go running, but not often enough to make a difference. After I got married, we only had one car and I had to walk to work (about 1.25 miles each way) and that helped a lot. Plus, my job kept me up and running and I'd rarely sit. I hit my all time low weight in about August, right after we moved. I had to start driving to work (we bought my old car from my parents) and got lazy because I had a car to buggy me around. I started gaining because we were so happy and content with life and weren't stressing so much.

So maybe the key to losing weight is stress. It seemed to happen for me when I wasn't trying too hard to lose it because I was so busy all the time.

Sorry for my rambling; women are ridiculous to worry about stupid things like this, but for some reason, we sometimes let them run our life.

Be happy! There are so many people who love you!!

P.S., I just finished reading a wonderful book called "Finding the Angel Within." You might like it. It helped me :)

Parkers said...

But isn't being a wife and mother so worth it? I only gained 17 pounds with Lily. She was almost of 8 of it, so wouldn't you think that I should have been down to only 9 pounds above pre-pregnancy weight after the delivery? For some reason I didn't lose even an ounce of it. Weird, isn't it? I've been doing weight watchers and I've lost thirteen pounds in about six weeks. I totally love it because deiting isn't really my style, but weight watchers doesn't make you cut down on what you eat, just how much of it you eat :)

Amy Parker

Danielle and the Boys said...

thanks for the post! its nice to know I'm not the only one that has had problems since having a baby. i swear all my friends around here have the baby and then end up looking better than they did before. I wore a coat for MONTHS anytime I was out in public because I hated the way my stomach looked after having Ethan. So Matt got me gift cards for my birthday and I had a similar experience at a store. Found a few things that work and it was such a mood booster. Anyway, I'm rambling too. But I love you and thanks for the post!

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